fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
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