I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
