I'm so fucking centered right now
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
