I want to make a zoo with you.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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