guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
