She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
