And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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