Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize