I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Randomize
