Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Watching her eat just hurts me
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
