So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
