nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
