you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
you had me at cake vodka
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
