We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Your cock deserves a montage
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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