A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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