I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
