So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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