apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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