This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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