Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize