she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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