did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
