I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
He passed out mid-signature
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
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