Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Randomize
