he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Randomize
