She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
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