this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
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