I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
