Soap is not a condiment
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
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