Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Why are your pants in the freezer?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
