ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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