this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
