he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
