He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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