woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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