Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
