areolas are like halos for boobs.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
