And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
