New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
