I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
