what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize