if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
