How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Randomize
