You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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