dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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