Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
this boner is exhausting
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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