Nicole vs. Life
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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