so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
