I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
