I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
