the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
