I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
