I smell stomach acid.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
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