She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
