please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Randomize
