to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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