my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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