i jhust puked up my retainher.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
areolas are like halos for boobs.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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