This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
