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I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
