Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Randomize
