He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
