You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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