you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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